She said you can do anything if you put your mind to it, but sometimes i find it really hard to jot down how i feel, its much easier to conceal. To hide behind silence, and leave words unexposed. The last time I wrote I was on the other end of the world, but I guess now its the time to let it out, unfurled. Unroll, unzip, uncurl. So I try and I try, and it just doesn't seem to flow, what do I want to say what do I want to show. I'm back home, trying to fit in, to bend to remold. It's not as hard as I thought but god damn some days I'm out of hope. Why are you people so weird, where did your moral skills disappear, somebody should have stopped this from happening and just interfered. I guess its because religion rules, I really really try to fight what I'm feeling but some people don't come off as nothing but a bunch of fools. I can't even walk around my city, my own hometown, those men are so sexually deprived , when I hide back in my car I'm like damn I survived. Because we live like sheep, we're so behind. I guess it would've been easier if my eyes were never opened and my mind stayed focused on how I was living 5 years ago. It would've been easier, but I would never take it back. The blessing that I had has taught me everything that back then I used to lack. Why are you starring at me turn around. Then I talk to myself and discuss that it isn't as bad, every place has its flaws, I just need to re-learn how to love it unconditionally. Like a mother loves its child. Unconditional.
Sometimes I sit and reminisce about all the faces I used to know, that somehow I had to let go. We just didn't rub the same way anymore, I had to let go.




Mariam N