Im walking with my coat on , but I hear them say its April. 11 pm . I hate passing through these ancient buildings at such a late hour. Its cold. But I wont stop till I get there. I have to ride it through. What a mission. Then I accept it, I pick it up, and I'm on a roll. I take my hand out of my pocket. I look at it. Its holding a pack. I light a smoke. 10 more minutes of systematic footwork. Damn it , ipod's running low. But im still puffing. Only when Im close to the bud do i realize.. that i have lost most of my senses in my hand. Red bruised. I wonder how i didnt notice it before. Then in a single moment of clarity in this dark night, I figure out how valuable these mouth to side movements are to me. More valuable than having a warm hand in my pocket. Addiction and conditional training. Our minds and bodies.. you are what you train yourself to be.... I wonder how many things I'm obliviously conditioned to ...and what happens when you become aware?
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