Feeling like an Eve

It’s unfortunate that they say its not right. Rocking on this chair, pretending to pretend, rocking away.

Holding them in, too precious to shed. No tears from a king. I am a king, a soldier, a night-time lonely watcher. Surrounded by it all, security around the clock. Still thinking about the forbidden, the impossible, the unfortunate. Oh damn, security breach. I know I will be okay. I told you I’m a soldier. I’ll shoot you. Leap over your dead body and walk away. If only…I was a soldier. It’s my fault. I never forget the rules, so why am I stranded on an illegal border now. I want to go home, but what is home, where is it, I don’t know anymore. I need help. Can I go back to who I was before? I crossed the line, and lost the way back. Because you’re the fruit I always wanted. Your shoulder was built for me. I've heard them say, I've been warned, don't touch what you cant grab, dont reach for what you cant have. But I just want you to know that my heart is a rebel, it doesn't play by the rules, so save your guidelines, let it be. No language or religion. Does it really matter? Why do you have to go and put titles, labels, pick up the red highlighter and emphasize our differences? What am i saying, they don’t understand. My pain they won’t comprehend. Yes, I’m forever changed. No longer in denial. Your face is haunting me. I want to go back and do things differently, but I can't be thinking this way. I wish I never came home to you that day. I should’ve stayed with my friends. The butterfly effect. Damn that horrible beautiful butterfly. Casually landed on my palm, caught me off-guard and I knew I wouldn’t be the same again. Greatness is what we feared; I know our bond would’ve blown me away. So we run away now, escape with what we can still save. Because the love is not enough, and the pain is just too rough. You opened the door so easily, now everytime I close my eyes, even if it’s just to blink, in my head I see your face, looking at me, you're there, now you're not, you're here, it was light, now I open my eyes and its just dark.