I have a headache. Saturday morning, my thoughts woke me up. The lack of power thats been taking over me is unbelievable.
One thing about will power, once you crack it , its never the same.
I've been rendering submissively to everything i said I would not.
I'm kind of sick of this game.
I know I can do it , I know I can..
then why do I see it hanging every time i look at my hand.
Isn't it amazing what a few puffs can do.
Little pieces of a devil, thats what I'm rendering to.
Head rush, amplifier and all that
I try to distract the urge, but it distracts me back.
It's a wrong state of mind that i just cant seem to retract.
And as i glance down, I laugh at how much this little thing stands for.
New ideas, and beliefs, that i never thought I'd vote for.
So where do I go from here.
Tell me if its going to be permanent or if it'll someday disappear
Because you can't keep expecting me to know whats right and wrong.
It's relative, justifiable, come on if religion cant agree on one deal
Dont expect me to know what to preach and what to fear.
And as i let my guard down that I've been pushing up so high
I find myself in tears, and ashamed I ask the sky
What do you want from me, how can i live a good life till i die
But i hear no answer, all i see is light
Illuminating from above , damn it I've got to fight
Then I go through it all over, determined and full of might
And as I'm walking around, I catch a glimpse of it and I wonder if I'm ready yet..
I pick it up , and I tell myself, that today is not the day
Deep down I'd know that tomorrow I'll behave the same way
A self destructive circle, I'll run around through
Bending myself a bit more everyday,
Hoping I would mould that crack in my will power
and fight back, pretty soon.. amen I pray.
At least I'm trying ! That picture...Little kids doing big kid things.
