Caught in between acts. The performance on hold. Mute the background noise. Just lingering in the interlude. Stuck, no clue how to get out.
Numb to the world. Just taking a mental vacation. Stepping back, re-assessing, trying to brush some paint on that big picture I always hear about. Small strokes, baby steps. God, this indifference is killing me.
I plot my days packed. Surround myself with people, eyes, work and gossip. Tricking myself, wishing for amnesia, or maybe just a tiny blackout. A few unremembered minutes wont do any harm. Then I remember how it used to be. How easily we part, how easily life devours. I lose hope. Can I stay in the interlude for a bit longer please?
Because I've forgotten how it was, and I'm not ready for a new start. Because whenever I gather up my strength you knock me out and I fall. Because its been raining for a while and I'm soaked. So i blast music into my ears, i close my eyes, and i think about a dream. I meditate myself into a new world. I create my utopia, a city I build on my own. Sometimes you're there with me, but sometimes its just me, the sky, a lighter and the parliament.. the cigarettes. A place where the money is not the motive, and the glares are complimented with smiles. Somewhere in my head. In my head. But i cant stay there. Reality check.
I need to start on Act 2..this empty interlude has been going on for too long.
